The Ballad of Brave Sir Robin

Provided by Sir Robin's talented minstrels, an inspiring ballad expressing their admiration for this legendary figure (and his legendary, bravery!).

The Ballad of Brave Sir Robin

Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin!
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken;
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away;
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!

His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
And his pen--

At this point an increasingly apprehensive Sir Robin interrupts his faithful minstrels and, as King Arthur and his knights were forced to eat Robin's minstrels in the frozen land of Nador (and there was much rejoicing!), tragically the remaining lyrics of this stirring and inspiring ballad are lost forever. The closest we ever come to a conclusion to this song is the following stanza, heroically improvised (despite Sir Robin's vehement protestations) as the brave knight of the round table, victoriously rides away from an encounter with the three-headed knight in the dark forest of Ewing:

Brave Sir Robin ran away.
Bravely ran away, away!
When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out.
Bravely taking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat,
Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin!

And later, as Sir Robin rejoins his sovereign king:

He is packing it in and packing it up
And sneaking away and buggering up
And chickening out and pissing off home,
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge...

Now, for those of you not content simply to read the words of this stirring ballad, but who wish also to hear the lay sung, we have provided the following links:

The Ballad of Sir Robin(, 365 KB)

Sir Robin (not) Fleeing(, 184 KB)

Meeting King Arthur(, 149 KB)